Yesterday my new book, written with my friend, consumer research expert, Debbie Silverman, became a #1 Best-Seller in our first day on Amazon. “It’s Just a Conversation: What to Say and How to Say it in Business” is a resource guide to getting what you want in business. Today I want to expand on one of the concepts in the book and that is ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT — and ASK LARGELY. In essence, what that means is to simply ask for what you want and ask as if you expect to get it. That was once a new concept for me and one that I’m now profoundly aware of.
So when my friend Yvonne told me that she was visiting Ocala last week and thought about calling, but didn’t call her favorite nephew who lives 20-minutes from there, it struck me. “Why didn’t you call him?” I asked, “He was so close.” She told me that, her husband told her not to because, “…the last thing a college kid wants to do is spend time with his aunt & uncle.” Really? Who says? Why not give Matt the opportunity to say yes or no? Let him decide if he didn’t want to or couldn’t make the time to see them. What do you have to lose by asking? More importantly, what do you have to gain?
How many times in our day-to-day lives do we hold back asking for what we want? How many opportunities go by because of some reason, some belief, some fear that we won’t get it? Zig Ziglar says, “You can get everything you want in life if you just help enough people get what they want.” Sometimes what other people want is to contribute to your life, to support you, to spend time with you, to be a part of your success. And when we don’t ask for what we want, for whatever reason, we don’t allow other people to get what they want.
I realize now that not asking holds me back. I realize that in the infinite scheme of things, giving and receiving is part of the flow of the universe, the yin and the yang if you will. You give, you receive, you give, and you receive. If all you do is give and don’t allow others give to you with the same spirit, you’re breaking the flow, you’re interrupting the current, you’re not allowing the Universe, God, Allah, whoever, to do what it naturally does, support you in getting everything you want.
BTW, Aunt Yvonne found out later that the Universe had actually conspired to support her. Matt’s mother told her that Matt was actually in Ocala that very day, and only about 5-minutes away. “And,” his mother went on to say, “You’re his favorite people in the whole world. He’ll be so sorry he didn’t get to see you.” An opportunity missed. So ask for what you want, and ask as if you expect to get it, then let the Universe conspire to give it to you. It wants to, just ask.
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