My mastermind team is reading the “Persistence” chapter from Napoleon Hill’s “Think & Grow Rich.”  With this, I’m reminded just how important a ‘Never Give Up’ attitude is to ultimate success. I often hear people say, “I just need one break, one chance, but nothing is happening for me.” Hill says that “breaks” happen to those who make them happen, to those who are willing to continue no matter what, to those who have an intense desire despite being surrounded by friends, neighbors and media all telling you, “You’re crazy, don’t you know it’s a terrible economy? Stop trying so hard, wait till things settle down and get better.”

Wait? If Thomas Edison waited for a better economy we’d still be in the dark. If Henry Ford waited for a better economy we’d all be in better physical shape from walking all the time. No, they continued, they persisted, they did what it took to accomplish their burning desire. Persistence is the key element to success. Breaks come when you continue moving forward, when you continue connecting and creating relationships with people, when you continue educating yourself. Be persistent, keep moving forward and believe that with persistence you will achieve your ultimate success.

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Since the 2011 Un-Conference last September, a number of us have been in mastermind groups studying the “Success Principles” by Jack Canfield. This week we finished the 64 Principles, 435 page book.  As I reflected on the many things I learned, the principle “Ask, Ask, Ask” stood out.  “Ask, Ask, Ask” means ask for what you want and ask as if you expect to get it, a new concept for me and one that I’m now profoundly aware of.

So when my friend Yvonne told me that she was visiting Ocala last week and thought about calling, but didn’t call her favorite nephew who lives about 20-minutes from there, it struck me. “Why didn’t you call him?” I asked, “He was so close.” She told me that, her husband told her not to because, “…the last thing a college kid wants to do is spend time with his aunt & uncle.” Really? Who says? Why not give Matt the opportunity to say yes or no?  Let him decide if he didn’t want to or couldn’t make the time to see them.  What do you have to lose by asking? More importantly, what do you have to gain?

How many times in our day-to-day lives do we hold back asking for what we want? How many opportunities go by because of some reason, some belief, some fear that we won’t get it?  Zig Ziglar says, “You can get everything you want in life if you just help enough people get what they want.” Sometimes what other people want is to contribute to your life, to support you, to spend time with you, to be a part of your success. And when we don’t ask for what we want, for whatever reason, we don’t allow other people to get what they want.

I realize now that not asking holds me back. I realize that in the infinite scheme of things, giving and receiving is part of the flow of the universe, the yin and the yang if you will. You give, you receive, you give, and you receive. If all you do is give and don’t allow others give to you with the same spirit, you’re breaking the flow, you’re interrupting the current, you’re not allowing the Universe, God, Allah, whoever, to do what it naturally does, support you in getting everything you want.

BTW, Aunt Yvonne found out later that the Universe had actually conspired to support her. Matt’s mother told her that Matt was actually in Ocala that very day, and only about 5-minutes away. “And,” his mother went on to say, “You’re his favorite people in the whole world. He’ll be so sorry he didn’t get to see you.” An opportunity missed. So ask for what you want, and as I learned from Jack Canfield in the ‘Success Principles,’ “Ask as if you expect to get it,” then let the Universe conspire to give it to you. It wants to, just ask.

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I’ve been fortunate to have been a part of many economically strong and personally profitable businesses in my life. And I learned a lot along the way. Yesterday I was reflecting on the last few months, reviewing my goals, checking my progress and revising my path when I realized that I was actually doing one of the most important things I’ve learned and that is to get in my helicopter. Whether it’s a Fortune 500 company or a thriving Mom & Pop, successful businesses are successful because they regularly get in their helicopter.

“A helicopter?” you ask. “What helicopter?” No, I don’t mean that all successful businesses own a helicopter. What I do mean is that successful people know that in order to grow, to make a profit, and to continue to be the best they can be that they must take a “helicopter view” on a regular basis. A helicopter view.

That’s the view you get when you step back and raise yourself above the noise, the fray, the day-to-day of doing business and simply look at where you are, where you’re going and adjust accordingly. You know they say, “You can’t see the forest for the trees,” and nothing is truer when you’re mired in your day-to-day operations and your quest for profits. Successful people take the time to set plans, put them in motion and regularly measure success. When you get out of the day-to-day and into your “helicopter,” you can clearly see the path, gauge your progress, confirm that you’re still on the right road heading toward the same intended destination. You can only see that by stopping and taking the “helicopter view.” When was the last time you took a helicopter view of your business and your life?

Last weekend, while sitting in Bok Gardens in Central Florida, peacefully immersed in nature, my sister, Nancy reminded me about the time she was attacked by a bird every time she used her front door. “There was a nest in the tree right at the entrance to my house,” she reminded me, “and every time I’d come or go it would dive bomb me.” Even now as she was telling me with an uncomfortable smile, I could see it scared her pants off. It’s pretty funny if you think about it. Well, it’s funny to me. After all, she is my little sister and the thought of an itty bitty bird scaring her so much that she puts her arms around her head, hunches her shoulders and runs screaming all the way to the door is as funny as all get out to me. But that’s just me. Anyway, she told me every time she’d come home and start thinking about that bird, her stomach would turn and her chest would pound. She said, “I found out later that the only way a bird will back off is if you stare it down. You’ve gotta look it right in the face and walk by it like you’re Queen of the World.”

Hmm.  I have little birds that threaten me too. We all do. We’re humans. We have little birds that make us scared, that keep us from going through the door, that hold us back. Those little birds come in the form of limiting thoughts and limiting beliefs that make us want to put our arms over our heads, hunch down and pray we make it through. When those times come, and they do come, whatever little bird is put in your path, remember that just like the black bird that’s protecting its nest, your ego is protecting its comfort zone. Stare it down, face it fully. Instead of being afraid of it, instead of letting it make your stomach turn and your chest pound, stand up straight and beat that fear with confidence, with strength and with the empowering belief that it’s just a little bird and YOU are the Queen of the World!

P.S. by Nancy Matthews (Trish’s little sister)

So what was it about those little birds that scared me so?  As I read Trish’s article I realized that the fear that grappled me was deep rooted from childhood.  However, I had never been attacked by birds before, so where did this fear come from?  It was not based in reality but in the fiction created by the folk tale factory workers in my mind based on a fictional movie … Alfred Hitchcock’s chilling horror film “The Birds.”  This was my first ‘horror’ movie and boy was I horrified!  At the tender age of 5 or 6 (our most formative years), I saw this fictional movie and it left quite an impression in my subconscious.  While I have learned to face my fears and limiting beliefs head on, it wasn’t until this moment that I realized where this particular one came from.  Does it matter where it came from?  Maybe, maybe not.  What I do know is that we must be aware and mindful of the fictional horror stories from our past, whether based in a memory from an experience or a movie — and remember that it is not the thing that happened that shapes us, but instead the story we tell ourselves about what happened.

Springtime in South Florida…

When I say that, people often ask, “How do you know its spring?”  To the untrained eye, it’s always green, sunny and deliciously beautiful here. Well, that’s true too, but we do have one, you just have to notice. When you pay attention, you fully experience the subtle transition from winter to spring.

While we don’t have the obvious signs like the absence of snow and subsequent thaw, we do have lots of clues that the vernal equinox is upon us. Like the abundant golden yellow bloom on the Tabebuia trees and the sweet-smelling flowers of the Frangipani, both of which are relatively bare in winter. Then there’s the remarkably fragrant Datura tree with long, hanging flowers that look like its common name, Angel Trumpets.

Every day I’m welcomed home with the scents of jasmine and gardenia, the bright colors of impatiens, petunias and pansies. It’s truly a “sense-sensation.” Spring has sprung and I’m sick with the fever. The next time you’re feeling down, take a walk outside and notice spring. It’s everywhere and it’s beautiful! Anyone want to join me for a walk in the garden?

Why is it that the things we get the most joy from are labeled “bad for you”? Sometimes I feel like a player on the game show, “You Can’t Win!” I know you can relate…

It’s been cold. No, really cold. Snow is falling in places it doesn’t normally fall, warm, sunny locales are bundled up with the heat on for the first time in eons, and the only way I can get warm is with a long hot shower. Oh. Hot showers are bad for you? C’mon, you’re kidding me, right? I am cold to the bone and covering up with clothes doesn’t do it. Yes, I’m all layered up: t-shirt, shirt, sweater, jacket, hat, gloves, scarf, you name it – I’m wearing it.

And a long hot shower always does the trick. Warms me all the way through, makes me feel finally comfortable. Then I turn on the news and what do I see? Hot showers are bad for your skin, hot water causes you to age more quickly, causes dry, itchy skin. Hmm…itchy, dry skin or freezing cold to the bone? Such a dilemma.

So I go make a cup of coffee. That’ll warm me up. No wait, caffeine is bad for you. I’ll have decaf. No wait, they decaffeinate using a chemical process that’s linked to cancer (What isn’t linked to cancer?)  Fine. I’ll heat up some soup. OMG, the soup has sodium and all kinds of preservatives.  What to do, what to do?

As I rub my eyes to clear my head, my husband says, “Don’t rub your eyes, it’s bad for you.”  I think to myself, “Again?”  I’m bristling now. “What do you mean, it’s bad for me to rub my eyes? Have you ever done it? It’s nirvana to give your eyes a good rub.”  “Yes,” he says, “but it also causes wrinkles. If you wanna look older, go ahead and rub away.”

OK. I give up. I’ll just go have a smoke, a drink, watch some mindless television and eat cheese doodles. Oh, wait…

I love to eat.  That “Eat, Pray, Love” lady has nothing on me.  I can eat with the best of them and I don’t have to go to Italy to do it.  I’ve always been one of those people that “lives to eat,” rather than, “eats to live.”  I know people like that, eating simply to live, they actually forget to eat. Can you imagine? Forgetting to eat?  I don’t know about you but at breakfast I’m planning lunch…and usually dinner too.

For the last 4 weeks I’ve been on a weight loss program where I eat only one meal a day and replace the other 2 with nutritional shakes. I’ve never been a meal replacement fan, I always preferred to eat my calories rather than drink them.  Unless you’re talking ‘adult beverages,’ those are OK to drink rather than eat calories. But this time I needed a good jump-start so I tried it.  And I’m glad I finally gave in and did.  The shakes, which on day one tasted barely palatable, today taste like Dairy Queen!  It’s amazing what we can train ourselves to believe. Talk about being joyful! I get Dairy Queen for breakfast every day!

And my meal, my one meal a day, is the best food I’ve ever eaten. Really. The BEST food I’ve ever eaten. See, since I’m only getting one meal, I’m making it myself and I’m making it like Martha Stewart would — cloth napkins, fine china, beautifully plated, with lots of colorful organic veggies, scrumptious grilled fish, and a bountiful green salad.

Another side benefit, my taste-buds have experienced a re-birth. For the first time in a long time, I not only can taste the food I eat, I know what “satisfied” feels like. And it doesn’t take as much food as I thought it did.  So I’m doing great, losing weight, feeling energetic, exercising and enjoying the ride. Will someone please remind me of this when the Holidays are here???

Any day at the beach is a joyful day. I’m so lucky to live in South Florida, where the weather is conducive to lots of beach days!

Last Sunday, my husband Dan and I had a joyful, rare experience just steps away from our chairs and umbrella…

It was the perfect sunny day, white puffy clouds; blue, blue sky…the water was cool and flat, almost like a lake, and crystal clear, just like the Caribbean where you can see everything.

It’s wonderful to walk in the water knowing there’s nothing I can’t see lurking under there. As we stroll out we notice it’s really shallow, and I mean knee-high shallow, for a long way out.

We see this weird, dark cloud in the water and suddenly out of nowhere, we’re surrounded by little, itty, bitty guppy fish. Hundreds, maybe thousands of them, making the water bounce above them.

I thought, “This is so cool! These little fish just swimming around us as if we’re some kind of plankton…maybe they’ll give me one of those new fish-biting pedicures?!?”

As soon as we walk through one school, there’s another up ahead. Only following this flurry of fish is a smaller school of bigger fish. “What are those?” I ask Dan, knowing he’ll love having a forum to feature his Discovery Channel knowledge. “Those are ‘Blue Runners.’ They’re chasing the little bait fish who are camouflaging by gathering ‘round bigger things – like you and me.”  “Cool. Hey, this is the ‘Lion King’ and we’re a part of it!”  The sun, the ocean, nature…talk about feeling Joy!

This fish symphony plays all around us for about an hour when we head back to shore. We continue to see fishes all the way back — walk through one school, see another up ahead, walk through one, see another up ahead — only this time, following behind the   bait fish and the blue runners there’s a much bigger fish.  “Uh, Dan, was that a…?”  “Yes ma’am,” he says, “Circle of Life, where you have little fish, you have big fish.”

Alrightee then, aren’t we joyful that it’s following them and not us! And aren’t we happy we’re back on the beach with a joyful, one of a kind, tale to tell…